A Letter of Transparency
Posted on: February 3, 2026
I offer transparency.
While I have taken the past month to retreat into quieter inner realms for my own healing, I have not been able to turn up for regular offerings in the way I used to. I share this now as I feel ready to take this silent shame off my shoulders and move more freely without it lingering in the shadows.
I am honouring the transits I am going through and hold an astrology perspective as gentle relief in understanding what these times mean for me personally. Yet as a guide to you for this changing collective times, transparency feels essential before entering this important threshold together.
I had some surprising grief knock me days before Christmas, that has been the necessary catalyst for uprooting old hurt and calling out inefficient modes of personal conduct.
It halted me. Like never before. I was humbled by its silent holding.
.
I carried a Hope for a few months in my womb that ended physically over the summer. While tending to that sadness of pregnancy loss, I remained hopeful, and it paused me briefly in reverence. I honoured that essence for what it still gave to me.
That first Hope was due in the coming weeks.
My second, recent loss was a much shorter term, which is why the depth of grief has felt quite shocking. Yet I honour it still. Grief is not something to comprehend nor rush. It comes, it lingers and it remains with you – often silently watching. It is taking me deeper on a path of healing that I know is building me in new ways of embodiment.
While the grief is a script I didn’t expect, the other personal metamorphosis is very much on point and something I did plan space for. Without resorting to astrology to make short of this, I have experienced enigmatic highs in this past year since traveling to India for my birthday. Those highs have been sobered by profound lows, that I hold with equal reverence. This year has altered me in ways I am yet to fully shape into words. I await with curiosity how that unfolds, but before that renewal is revealed, I honour the version of me that has carried me this far.
[In brief, and to those that do speak the language of astrology: my 11th House Taurus Sun, conjunct Lilith and opposite Pluto is going through a square aspect from Pluto for 18 months. This is a metamorphosis of ego and consciousness, an invitation to integrate dark and light so that the pleasure of existence can be lived more honestly. At the same time as my 12th House Taurus Mars conjunct Chariklo and opposite Saturn is undergoing a conjunction transit from Uranus – this is the sudden grief awakening my healing, death doula, dimensional walker, while reinforcing energetic boundaries and my service to collective conduct.]
The shame I have felt in carrying sorrow and grief, at times, felt heavier than the grief itself. I have come to recognise that some of the shame did not originate in my experience itself, but in a conditioned expectation that a guide must be unbroken, continuously available and somehow exempt from hurting through the very initiations they mentor others to navigate. I no longer consent to holding myself to that distortion as I move forward.
I know there is suffering far greater than my own going on for others. I know that each individual circumstance is a relative and honourable path for the individual to experience. No experience needs to feel less than because of comparison. Yet hiding – a familiar trait of mine – is not the answer. Hiding the hurt, or the most tender parts of oneself, also prevents the fullest expression from standing authentically.
As I relearn this, I know one thing. I may feel vulnerable in this moment, but I still honour what is coming. I trust my capacity to feel beyond my own script and align with a resonance available for healing, evolution, and thriving alignment.
Many of you know the depth of the work I offer, and I deeply respect your commitment to connection with me over these years. It is truly valued. To those who have the capacity and feel the call to lightly link during this time, I would be honoured to walk as a humble guide and companion.
It felt important to be seen wholly and authentically. I have not given up. I am simply called to contain my energy in a more refined way than before. This refinement is not a retreat from service, but a deepening of trust in timing, capacity, and my truth.
I hope to offer generous support and help bring an uplifting force into existence through our collective gathering.
Blessings, and thank you for taking the time to read
